It’s Completely Legal To Kill Bigfoot In Texas

By Nolan Moore on Friday, January 10, 2014
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“I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem. It’s not the photographer’s fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that’s extra scary to me. There’s a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he’s fuzzy, get out of here.” —Mitch Hedberg, “Strategic Grill Locations”

In A Nutshell

Bigfoot is one of the most famous monsters in the world, but if he exists, he better stay out of the Lone Star State. According to the Texas Park and Wildlife Department, it’s perfectly legal to kill the rare cryptid, if you can find him of course. However, California and Washington are a little more Bigfoot-friendly and have set up laws to protect this mysterious creature.

The Whole Bushel

Bigfoot is North America’s most legendary cryptid and has appeared in books, movies, TV shows, and now possibly Rick Dyer’s freezer. If you’ve been paying attention to the “news” recently, you may have noticed this Texas hunter, who says he bagged the creature outside of San Antonio. He now plans to take the body on a road trip across North America, charging people for a glimpse of the mythical beast. While chances are pretty good that Dyer’s story is a hoax, if he actually did kill the mysterious monster, he’s totally within his legal rights.

According to the Texas Park and Wildlife Department (TPWD), hunters can shoot as many Sasquatches as they want, assuming they can find any. Of course, Bigfoot isn’t specifically mentioned in any state laws, and that concerned John Lloyd Sharf of Oregon. He sent the TPWD an email asking if the creatures receive any kind of protection, and he got a prompt response from Lieutenant David Sinclair, Chief of Staff of the TPWD. According to Lt. Sinclair, Bigfoot isn’t listed as “an indigenous, nongame species” so it’s not protected by Texas law which means you can kill as many as you want. Of course, the rule was written for less-elusive creatures like bobcats, coyotes, and cotton-tailed rabbits, but technically speaking, it applies to Bigfoot, too.

While Texas isn’t exactly Bigfoot-friendly, California might be a safe-haven for the fabled, furry ape. According to the California Department of Fish and Game, if Bigfoot exists naturally in California, then it’s a non-game mammal protected by law. However, California isn’t the only place with pro-cryptid laws. In 1992, Whatcom County, Washington declared itself a Bigfoot refuge area, and Skamania County made it illegal to hunt the hairy humanoids all the way back in 1969. That’s great news for the 29 percent of Americans who actually believe in Bigfoot and even better news for the creatures themselves . . . assuming they’re even real.

Show Me The Proof

TIME: Sorry, Guys: Bigfoot Is Dead ‘Cause This Guy Shot Him
LiveScience: Shooting Bigfoot is Legal in Texas
Daily Kos: Bigfoot hunting legal in Texas, but not in California