It’s Completely Legal To Kill Bigfoot In Texas

“I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem. It’s not the photographer’s fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that’s extra scary to me. There’s a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he’s fuzzy, get out of here.” —Mitch Hedberg, “Strategic Grill Locations”

In A Nutshell

Bigfoot is one of the most famous monsters in the world, but if he exists, he better stay out of the Lone Star State. According to the Texas Park and Wildlife Department, it’s perfectly legal to kill the rare cryptid, if you can find him of course. However, California and Washington are a little more Bigfoot-friendly and have set up laws to protect this mysterious creature.

The Whole Bushel

Bigfoot is North America’s most legendary cryptid and has appeared in books, movies, TV shows, and now possibly Rick Dyer’s freezer. If you’ve been paying attention to the “news” recently, you may have noticed this Texas hunter, who says he bagged the creature outside of San Antonio. He now plans to take the body on a road trip across North America, charging people for a glimpse of the mythical beast. While chances are pretty good that Dyer’s story is a hoax, if he actually did kill the mysterious monster, he’s totally within his legal rights.

According to the Texas Park and Wildlife Department (TPWD), hunters can shoot as many Sasquatches as they want, assuming they can find any. Of course, Bigfoot isn’t specifically mentioned in any state laws, and that concerned John Lloyd Sharf of Oregon. He sent the TPWD an email asking if the creatures receive any kind of protection, and he got a prompt response from Lieutenant David Sinclair, Chief of Staff of the TPWD. According to Lt. Sinclair, Bigfoot isn’t listed as “an indigenous, nongame species” so it’s not protected by Texas law which means you can kill as many as you want. Of course, the rule was written for less-elusive creatures like bobcats, coyotes, and cotton-tailed rabbits, but technically speaking, it applies to Bigfoot, too.

While Texas isn’t exactly Bigfoot-friendly, California might be a safe-haven for the fabled, furry ape. According to the California Department of Fish and Game, if Bigfoot exists naturally in California, then it’s a non-game mammal protected by law. However, California isn’t the only place with pro-cryptid laws. In 1992, Whatcom County, Washington declared itself a Bigfoot refuge area, and Skamania County made it illegal to hunt the hairy humanoids all the way back in 1969. That’s great news for the 29 percent of Americans who actually believe in Bigfoot and even better news for the creatures themselves . . . assuming they’re even real.

Show Me The Proof

TIME: Sorry, Guys: Bigfoot Is Dead ‘Cause This Guy Shot Him
LiveScience: Shooting Bigfoot is Legal in Texas
Daily Kos: Bigfoot hunting legal in Texas, but not in California

  • Ryan

    It’s usually legal to hunt animals that exist only in rumour.

    • lbatfish

      OTOH, aside from such laws being a waste of legislative time . . . what’s the harm?
      I mean, it’d be kinda tough to bust somebody for breaking such a law.

  • elmofuddleputt

    Shoot ’em in the face!

    • lbatfish

      Dick? Is Elmofuddleputt your Listverse nick?

  • lee

    You can kill anything in the states.

    • lbatfish

      Except NRA lobbyists.

  • SensiblePerson

    While completely ridiculus and kind of a stupid and useless law, at least it does protect a completley nonexistent animal that people continue to spend thousands of dollars trying to fnd it with no success. In my opinion it’s the most illegitimate law i’ve ever heard of.

    • Rosalie Kitchen

      I’d say it’s as reasonable to say it’s illegal to shoot an ivory billed woodpecker. Just in case it IS real, we don’t want to drive it to extinction.

      • Brandon Sivek

        There is a big difference between an animal that we know existed, and one that is a myth with no proof of it ever being real.

        • Rosalie Kitchen

          Better safe than sorry

    • mo

      How about the law in Florida having 12 year old masturbate on crocodiles?

      • SensiblePerson

        Seriously, that’s gross, why is there a law like that?

      • lbatfish

        I hadn’t heard about that one. Does it forbid 12-year-olds from doing it, or mandate it?

    • lbatfish

      My own nomination for “most illegitimate” would be the the Marijuana Tax Act of 1937 — Harry Anslinger’s gift to America that just keeps on giving (even though he expressed regret for what he did later on in life).

  • Scott

    I live in Commiefornia and I can say that I fully intend to bag a BIgfoot if I am able to. I go deer hunting a lot, and I’d say about 1/3 of the time I’m actually looking for Bigfoot.

    • lbatfish

      I’d guess that the deer are pleased with your Bigfoot-interest.

  • BeeJ

    In regards to the opening quote, I’ve a theory of my own as to why Bigfoot (Bigfeet? Bigfoots?) are blurry on film. After watching more “Finding Bigfoot” than I’d like to admit (my husband likes the show), they’ve mentioned that more often than not when a Bigfoot is around, their cameras and what not “malfunction”. I think this is a defence mechanism the Bigfeets have evolved over the years, they essentially act like an EMP, causing all digital equipment to fail and in the case of analog (35mm cameras and the like) the same thing that acts like an EMP for digital equipment is what makes them blurry on film. Of course more research is needed, but I’m pretty confident in my findings. And by findings, I mean boredom while watching the show and seeing if I could come up with an idea as absurd as some if theirs. I feel I’ve been successful.

    • Dandroid

      I thought I was tracking a Bigfoot one time but it turned out to be a hobbit

      • lbatfish

        You used to live on the island of Flores (in Bali)? I may be visiting there someday. Sampai jumpa di sana!

      • BeeJ

        It could’ve been a bever. I’ve seen them mistake a bever sitting on a log for a baby Bigfoot once. Either one is an easy mistake.

        • Dandroid

          No I’m pretty sure it was a hobbit 🙂

    • Joseph

      That twig is bent. That’s a sure sign of a bigfoot.

      • BeeJ

        Did you hear that? Bigfoot. They never find legit proof, yet they’re always certain Bigfoot live in whatever state they’re visiting.

        • Joseph

          That was actually a real example. I’ve only seen 2 episodes and in one of them they’re walking through a forest when one stops to look at a broken twig and says “this is a mark of bigfoot” (or something close). People walking through the forest never break twigs… It was a pretty funny show, they can’t really be serious about it. At least I hope not.

          • BeeJ

            Everything is a sign of Bigfeets in the area, animal carcas or bones? Bigfoot lunch. A howl that cant be identified? Bigfoot. An indent in the mud? Bigfoot. They are totally serious. The one guy quit practicing law to found the Bigfoot Research Organization (BFRO). Like I said my hubby watches it, it’s great for a laugh. We played a drinking game to it once. Anytime someone says ‘squatch’ or any version of ie ‘squatchy’ ‘squatching’ etc take a drink. You can get drunk really quickly.

          • Joseph

            I always just assumed it was some kind of joke and they were all actors. That makes me a little sad…

          • BeeJ

            Even sadder, I think only one of them has actually “seen” a Bigfoot. The others just believe the way kids do when it comes to Santa.

  • Markharr

    What about Louisiana? I heard that bigfoot is a cast member on Duck Dynasty.

    • lbatfish

      Also one of the producers.

  • mo

    This article imposes that it’s illegal in all other states but Texas. But the reality is, California and two small portions of Washington are the only places it is not legal. So why focus on one state as being legal when it’s 48?

    • lbatfish

      Because only Texas offers a bounty for them (despite all of Sarah Palin’s lobbying efforts during her half-term as Alaska governor).

  • Chaos

    You know what really blows my mind??That there are laws being contested about certain aspects of equality and yet some brilliant politicians have taken the time to make laws about a creature we can’t even prove exists………..WTF HUMANITY?!?

    • lbatfish

      How would that be a new thing? After all, we passed anti-marijuana laws to protect people from “harmful effects” that couldn’t be proven, either.

      • Joseph

        There has been proven long term side effects to marijuana use, but it’s still not as bad as alcohol. I hate it when people try to claim that it’s perfectly safe. I still think it should be legal just like alcohol.

        • lbatfish

          True that there are some, but the ratio of claimed “harmful effects” to even “plausible” harmful effects is pretty horribly lopsided. Remember the one about how it would cause men to grow big tits? 🙂

          • Joseph

            I don’t remember that one, but it’s pretty funny.

  • Joseph

    Thank you all for your interest in Bigfeet. It’s a travesty that Texas hasn’t updated their laws to protect these magnificent animals. I’m actually the president of Protect Bigfeet with Bigshoes (PBB) were a nonprofit devoted to protecting this wonderful creature from the cruel Texans that make slippers from the Bigfeet’s hide. I bet you’re asking yourself “How do Bigshoes protect Bigfeet?” That’s a good question and the answer is quite simple. They aren’t really shoes, but disguises. We make a cow costume for the Bigfeet and have them crawl on all fours to evade capture. We call the costume a “Bigshoe”. Now you know how Bigshoes protect Bigfeet. Hopefully this tidbit of information will convince you to donate money to our worthy cause of protecting this majestic animal from hunters.

    • SensiblePerson

      Really, working for an organization that protects nonexistent animals?

      • Joseph

        We here at the PBB have evidence that Bigfeet are real and travelling around the US in an RV to see the many sights this great country has to offer.

        • SwedishGuy

          That actually sounds nice but, I don’t believe in Bigfoot, also i’m Swedish, so I would rather prefer my nice paying job of travelling around Europe.

    • elmofuddleputt

      Not sure if serious….

      • Joseph

        No, I’m not serious. LOL, bigshoes for bigfeet… classic.

  • UN

    this is outrageous someone plz contact PETA….