In A Nutshell
By all accounts, Washington State resident Edward Smith is an average sort of a guy with a not-so-average secret: He’s a mechanophile—someone who can only get turned on by vehicles. During his life, he’s had sex with over 1,000 cars, but that’s not his greatest achievement. His greatest achievement is that he once had sex with the helicopter from Airwolf.
The Whole Bushel
If you don’t remember Airwolf, chances are you didn’t grow up in the ’80s. Briefly: It was a cult show that tried to be the A-Team of the skies, a program where the titular helicopter would rain explosive death down on hordes of faceless henchmen . . . and Washington State man Edward Smith made it his duty to violate our childhood memories of the show in the most disgusting way possible.
See, Smith is a mechanophile—someone who gets off on getting off in vehicles. At the age of 13, he fell in love with a Corvette Stingray and has since had relationships and one-night stands with over 1,000 cars. This is where it gets a bit creepy: Since Smith isn’t a millionaire, he rarely owns the vehicles he lusts after. This means a great deal of that 1,000 came from showrooms or were just sitting unlocked in their owner’s driveway when Smith made his move. All of which brings us to Airwolf.
As with many TV and movie vehicles, Airwolf had a “life” away from the screens. At some point, this life brought the helicopter into the world of Edward Smith. Although he is unclear on the circumstances, Smith saw his chance and took it. Horrifyingly, disgustingly, he had sex with Airwolf, later claiming in an interview with British newspaper The Telegraph that it was his “most intense sexual experience.” So, to sum this “nut” up in as few words as possible: Meet Edward Smith, the man who ruined your childhood.