Swedish Children’s TV Is Really, Really Creepy

“You know I don’t speak Spanish. In English, please. [. . .] Huh? You pooped in the refrigerator?” —Ron Burgundy, Anchorman (2004)

In A Nutshell

We’re used to children’s TV being bizarre—like something dreamed up on a headful of acid by some deranged network writer. But in Sweden that weirdness goes one step further. Not content with bending young minds with insane colors and singing animals, popular show “Biss och Kajs” also features characters such as a giant singing butt, a sentient stream of urine, and a woman dressed up as a lump of poop.

The Whole Bushel

In December 2013, Sweden found itself pulled into one of the strangest international rows in recent years. As Russia and the EU locked horns over the future of ex-Soviet satellite state Ukraine, pro-Putin papers in Moscow searched desperately for some overt sign of EU decadence they could latch onto and eviscerate. And they found their target in unassuming Swedish children’s show Biss och Kaja.

Aimed at a very young audience, Biss och Kaja (which roughly translates as “wee-wee and poop”) teaches kids about their bodily functions by sticking some adults in degrading costumes and hoping for the best. Presented by a woman dressed as a lump of poop and a man embodying a stream of urine, it alternately features a gigantic talking butt, a chorus of anuses, and a pair of singing balls. But our favorite by far has to be the rapping penis—a link to the video of which we’ve helpfully included for you below.

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For ultra-liberal Sweden, programs like Biss are no different from Sesame Street or any other show meant to entertain kids while simultaneously educating them. But for conservative Russia, it’s nothing short of the next Sodom and Gomorrah. Rossiya 1 anchor Dmitriy Kiselev—Moscow’s answer to Rush Limbaugh—recently blamed it for a whole host of imaginary ills infecting continental Europe; from child impotence to nine-year-olds having abortions. That most of Europe would probably be equally weirded out by the insanity of Biss is apparently neither here nor there.

Show Me The Proof

BBC: Russia — Children’s toilet TV show drawn into Ukraine-EU row
Official Website (with video)

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